The Augustana Mirror — April 1, 2008

Editor’s Note: This is an April Fool’s joke which is silly enough to include.

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Art professor pegged for film superstardom
By Luke “The Chief” Tatge
The Augustana Mirror — Tuesday, April 1, 2008

In a move of absolute artistic brilliance, art professor Scott Parsons was chosen to portray legendary rocker Tom Petty in the upcoming biopic Learning to Fly, directed by Oliver Stone.

Parsons was spotted during a casting call at the Empire Mall in which applicants were asked to play “Mary Jane’s Last Dance” with wooden spoons in front of Auntie Anne’s Pretzels.

Parsons was the standout, as Stone called him “an absolute vision” and “a truly multi-faceted talent.”

Though Parsons could not be reached for comment as filming has begun, sources for the Smirror say the fledging actor will certainly be a Hollywood “heartbreaker.”

The film will open in Russia in December 2010.

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